When a parent moves in



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I had heard about children moving back home after college. In fact, one of mine did, until her wedding day. It was great and I loved every minute of it. Have you heard about parents moving in with their children? I had, but when it is not something that you think will be part of your future, you tend to not give it too much attention. For Mr Man and I, it was to be until my mother’s independent apartment became available. 8 months with no movement on the list gives one pause.

To her credit, it has to be hard to move into a home that is not your own. I hear daily, “What can I do?” What I hear is, “You need help because you are failing at keeping things up around here.” I try to hear her intent instead of my interpretation, but I fail sometimes, and it causes hard feelings. I also work 4 days a week and it takes Forever a REALLY long time to get to work. Road construction season is here in Minnesota and they have decided to work on EVERY route I can take to get to work! So I know that she waits to have me home so that she can share her day with me, but she doesn’t get a lot of time. It has to be hard for her but all I feel is the pressure.

I think it stems from our relationship in years gone by. I was 17 when I graduated high school and left for college. I never looked back. Like most kids that age, I felt misunderstood and unloved. My family is not a warm fuzzy feel good family and I am almost a Pollyanna. Great combo. Distance helped me work through my feelings along with some counseling and we forged a great long distance relationship with visits in between that always went well. When my father had a stroke in 2012 and then 5 weeks later passed away, my mother and I talked about her coming here to live so that I could help when needed.

 

www.joy2journey.com

 

I would do anything for my family. I also believe in the Bible and it says that we are to “Honor our parents”. 

Eph 6: 1-3

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.…

When we are children we are called to obey. When we are adults we are called to HONOR. Interesting to me that it doesn’t say to LOVE them. Maybe love happens when you honor?

Honor … being respectful of them. Hard to do when I am being pulled in “one” more direction. Hard to do when something is said in a manner that is not polite. Hard to do when I have my own hobbies and things to do and I have to do something for her instead. My selfishness gets in the way.

 

www.joy2journey.com

 

I am trying. It is a battle I fight everyday. Sometimes I win, and sometimes I lose, only to come back and fight better the next day. My projects are still happening but blogging about them is difficult in the busyness of my life. I am trying to change things up but still don’t have a good handle on how to make that happen. Thank you for your interest and for being patient as I try to get my life into some sort of routine. This is not a forever situation and I remind myself of that. There will still be plenty of time after my mother is able to move into her own place. Until then … thank you for sharing in my journey.

Any helpful tips or thoughts are welcome!

Hugs,

Bj@joy2journey.com

 

 



2 Responses to "When a parent moves in"

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  1. Sis

    July 25, 2015 at 8:15 PM

    What honesty !! I admire you so much for that and for many other reasons. I’m sure this wasn’t easy to write about and I wish I had some words of wisdom but other than prayer I have nothing. But I am here…just a phone call away. Anytime you want/need to blow off steam or just need a shoulder. Call me…..day/night it doesn’t matter. I love you, Sis !!

  2. Pingback: Guest post from Sharon Hines, author of “Creating Success at Home” | Joy 2 Journey

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